Trouble dressing my daughter with SPD
My daughter is 4 and has been diagnosed with SPD for 6 months. We do OT once a week and also stuff at home. Our biggest trouble this last week is her clothing. Everything is too tight, itching, hurts, too hot. She went through this awhile ago which initally led me to talk to the Dr. about this and other behaviors. I just wonder what is "right" she doesn't like to wear panties with any pants, shorts, or tights. Is it OK? I warned her daycare provider that she'd be coming today without any, not sure she agrees or approves. She'll cry and have a melt down for an hour and change her clothes repeatedly tho looking for something that "feels ok." Anyone else with similiar issues. Anything I can try to make dressing in the morning go smoother, it sure starts the day off on a bad foot. Thanks
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Craig Walker on -
Hi Teresa,
My daughter and I went through this when she was about the same age. If you haven't already, talk with her OT about this issue. What really helped was the Wilbarger Brushing/Deep Pressure Protocol method. I posted a video on the site that provides an example. It really helped my daughter in reducing tactile defensiveness -- she hated the feeling of pants, socks and long-sleeved shirts. Winter time used to be a nightmare in trying to keep her bundled up.
But, make sure that you get instruction on how to do the technique from a trained OT. It's important to do it correctly.
Take care and Many Blessings,
Craig
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Permalink Reply by Teresa Lewis on -
Thank you, we started the brushing program when she was first diagnosed. She had gotten better with the dressing so we hadn't been doing it but my OT suggested starting again before she dresses. I'm finding out that they don't get "cured" in one area, it gets better for awhile but then we relapse. Is this your experience? Every week or two it's a new issue, maybe still the old issues too. It's hard not to get discouraged, I felt like we were making some real progress. Thank you for your suggestion. Teresa
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Permalink Reply by Craig Walker on
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You're welcome Teresa. Yes, my experience and understanding is that there is no absolute cure but the OT and other therapies help our children to better integrate their senses. I have also learned from adults with SPD that they continue to use these techniques throughout life as they do help. The important thing for me is to help my daughter develop a repertoire of techniques/skills that she can use and rely on to help her throughout life.
One other thing that I have been told and have experienced is that as our children begin to "integrate" they can have relapses and that will test your patience and your resolve. It can be difficult at these times to know what's working and what's not. Hang in there and keep your OT informed about what's going on. Craig
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Permalink Reply by Laurie Kight on
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Teresa, I could have written this post. I have a 5-year-old daughter with SPD and she has been in OT for about nine months now. Dressing is really my daughter's main SPD issue. It often consumes our lives. It can be very disruptive to the family environment -- our days start off late, with tears and are upsetting to my 3-year-old son who doesn't have SPD and doesn't understand why his sister (or his mother/dad) is so upset.
We have made progress. Originally, my daughter would not wear any shoes but Crocs, and no socks. Now, she will wear socks (but only a certain kind of knee sock) and sneakers occasionally. She will TRY to shop for shoes and clothing, and we can even shop without tears. We have more good days now than terrible days, but we had a meltdown this morning. She is still a long way from successfully dealing with her clothing issues.
She has a lot of anxiety about dressing. She refuses to try new things. She can easily take an hour to get dressed. I am very anxious about going to kindergarten next year. We have to be out the door by 7:40 a.m. We practice, but are still missing the mark.
One book we read, "The Explosive Child," gave us good tools for trying to collaboratively work with her to resolve her issues. That's been the most effective tool yet. Believe me, we've tried everything else -- rewards, time outs, incentives, sticker charts, making a plan, getting everything ready the night before, going to bed earlier, etc. The author of the book explained it like this...the challenge lies in the brain. It hasn't learned what to do. Just as you can't teach someone the alphabet using sticker charts, you can't teach a thought/reasoning process by rewards or punishment. You have to keep working at it until the brain makes the connection.
It's hard work, and often I lose my patience. Sometimes I feel like, "This is for the birds. Just put her in the car and go to school -- even if she's naked! She is taking our family hostage!" Those are the worst days. And then I cool off and remember that she's 5, and she would do her best if she could. But she can't. And we need to try and help her...not make her feel worse. ("You are not going to make it to kindergarten if you can't get dressed." "I don't know any other kid in your class who can't get dressed in the morning." Yes, I have said those things. And I feel a great deal of guilt about it. But I"m learning too.)
I'm trying hard to rethink everything I know about parenting because the conventional advice I've gotten just doesn't help. I am glad to have found this forum, because I have to say that this is a lonely experience.
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Permalink Reply by Shyla Hall on
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To Laurie.....I can't believe how similar my daughters clothing challenges are to yours. My husband and I have had many tear-filled-guilty mornings. She has finally just recently been diagnosed with SPD.
My 8 yr old has had clothing problems as far as I can remember. I knew there was something not right but family members, friends and our pediatrician all said "she'll grow out of it or just make her do it" They just never understood.
First, she would only wear leggings, long sleeves, special socks/panties, and no jacket. Not really appropriate for winter or summer....but summer is when we had the major problems. We went to Florida and she refused to wear short sleeves, shorts or a bathing suit. She ended up in heat rash and it made for a miserable vacation. She couldn't stand the wind/air on her arms. Now, she'll only wear Jeans...one style (gap Jeans) and hi-top tennis shoes. And even then there are days when they suddenly don't feel right ("They feel funny") She basically only wears, what we call her "uniform". We have about 2-3 days a week... when getting dressed is the most painful thing on earth! I'm so dreading the hot summer days when we have to start wearing shorts. She just can't adjust to the change of seasons. Oh, did I mention, my daughter refuses to go without socks!!! She can't stand being barefoot or wearing sandals/flip flops of any sort.
I have to say....I'm picking up "The Explosive Child" this weekend! Cause we're just learning about how to deal with this too
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Permalink Reply by Mary Gardner on -
Hey all..
I wanted to share what I've learned with my son and his EX sensory issues!!! We have LICKED Them... it's been a long road and a battle but we did it.
For him.. the triggers - were EGGS.. that made his body feel highly uncomfortalbe... and we got him off of all of the foods he has a sensitity to.. gluten, eggs, and added supplements recommended by a neurpathic medical doctors.. . We also took him off of DAIRY even though it didnt show up as something he was sensitive to, the books we've read said that milk is a peptoid and like a drug, so we eliminated it from all of our diets and it made a huge difference.
Our other things we use: swimming, running, daily exercise, low stimulation in the house, prayer, healing scriptures, all natural living and food. We also did auditory processing training and LOTS of OT.. but all of it together worked. YOu HAVE to take each person as a whole and not as a part.... and look at MENTAL, PHYSICAL and spiritual.
The journey has been long but worth it. Our life is now peaceful and we have a NORMAL life and can actually GO places. What a ride it's been.. but YOU CAN GET OVER THESE issues.. Please email me if I can help you! mary@marygardner.com
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Permalink Reply by Mary Gardner on
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OT works great!!!
Get tested by a neuropath for all food sensitivities. The major ones are WHEAT, DAIRY, Gluten and casein, Eggs, peanuts and soy.
Yeast is another common one.
If you go to traditional allergist.. they only test for allergy or no allergy. The facts are .. is that MOST people are sensitive to gluten and dairy.. and if you're sensitive at all.. you're going to make havoc on your body.
We've eliminated all SPD symptoms thru OT, and alternative treatments.. ultimately, we changed the FOOD and the WATER and added magnets (mattress and in shoes thru Nikken) and now.. my son is getting GREAT grades, isn't uncomfortable, has no trouble with transitions.. etc..
We've changed our lives COMPLETELY through food.
Please let me know if I can help. Mary@marygardner.com
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer L Daschel on
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Hi Theresa. Your story looks just like mine! My daughter is 4 and just got diagnosed. Her clothing issues are the same way! How is your daughter doing now?
Jennifer
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