Frustration levels have grown...
My son, a first grader in public school, has had a challenging year, at best. The teacher and support team did not understand or grasp the reality of what it means to be a child with SPD. I attempted to educate them, share resources, explain how to work with him, and daily I would get the negative reports. He was melting down at situations that seemed petty to teachers and staff, acting defiant, not completing his work, and having difficulty developing peer relationships.
I obtained a 504 plan for him at the beginning of the year, but the school was not following through on the accommodations. They requested a full evaluation, and we agreed. What could happen? Well, the worst came out of it. The teacher shut down completely once the initial paperwork was signed. She had stopped accommodating his needs at all, and the meltdowns became more frequent and more violent. Then we had the review meeting.
During this meeting, we were told that our son has emotional disabilities, specifically in the area of depression. Were we shocked? Absolutely! Let me share with you some quick insight to our life. Our older son, who is now 11, has a major depressive disorder. We chose not to medicate him until he turned 9. Throughout those 9 years, we have seen the gambit of behaviors associated with depression, including the negativity, low self-esteem, and even attempts at hurting himself. Although we still struggle daily with his depression, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is manageable. When that school team told us that our 6 year old had depression problems, and the red flag raised! I know the signs now. I know his current diagnosis. I am helping him outside of school and in our home. Depression? I don't think so!
We requested a second evaluation, and low and behold, a team that wasn't presumptuous and directed by preconceived diagnosis were able to take a closer look. Guess what they found? Our son has SPD! We added anxiety to his diagnosis as well, since it was at heightened levels during this school year. It still fascinates me that a child with multiple doctor's and therapists can diagnosis SPD, low muscle tone, coordination issues and anxiety, and a school team can come back and state that his major issue is depression. Just a slight stretch in my book.
When it came down to it, the problem was the close mindedness of the team working with him. They were unable or unwilling to accept a diagnosis that they did not comprehend. When the principal finally decided that our son should move to a different classroom, the majority of the behavior problems ceased! The teacher was accommodating and understanding. She wanted him to succeed and without the abundance of information that we had been offering the school all year, she has made that happen. Finally, a successful school situation for our son?
We thought so.
I am not ready to discuss what has happened today, but I needed to share our experience thus far with the schools. I now strongly believe that with the correct support and an open-minded teacher, our son can succeed within the public school setting. Advocating for your child is tiring at best. Reading and learning new information, strategies, and sharing it with everyone who will listen is exhausting. For now, I am surviving and so is our family. The events of today will pass as well, and we will be stronger for it. Until then, I am going to brainstorm, read and learn more about how to deal with it.
Thanks for listening.
I obtained a 504 plan for him at the beginning of the year, but the school was not following through on the accommodations. They requested a full evaluation, and we agreed. What could happen? Well, the worst came out of it. The teacher shut down completely once the initial paperwork was signed. She had stopped accommodating his needs at all, and the meltdowns became more frequent and more violent. Then we had the review meeting.
During this meeting, we were told that our son has emotional disabilities, specifically in the area of depression. Were we shocked? Absolutely! Let me share with you some quick insight to our life. Our older son, who is now 11, has a major depressive disorder. We chose not to medicate him until he turned 9. Throughout those 9 years, we have seen the gambit of behaviors associated with depression, including the negativity, low self-esteem, and even attempts at hurting himself. Although we still struggle daily with his depression, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is manageable. When that school team told us that our 6 year old had depression problems, and the red flag raised! I know the signs now. I know his current diagnosis. I am helping him outside of school and in our home. Depression? I don't think so!
We requested a second evaluation, and low and behold, a team that wasn't presumptuous and directed by preconceived diagnosis were able to take a closer look. Guess what they found? Our son has SPD! We added anxiety to his diagnosis as well, since it was at heightened levels during this school year. It still fascinates me that a child with multiple doctor's and therapists can diagnosis SPD, low muscle tone, coordination issues and anxiety, and a school team can come back and state that his major issue is depression. Just a slight stretch in my book.
When it came down to it, the problem was the close mindedness of the team working with him. They were unable or unwilling to accept a diagnosis that they did not comprehend. When the principal finally decided that our son should move to a different classroom, the majority of the behavior problems ceased! The teacher was accommodating and understanding. She wanted him to succeed and without the abundance of information that we had been offering the school all year, she has made that happen. Finally, a successful school situation for our son?
We thought so.
I am not ready to discuss what has happened today, but I needed to share our experience thus far with the schools. I now strongly believe that with the correct support and an open-minded teacher, our son can succeed within the public school setting. Advocating for your child is tiring at best. Reading and learning new information, strategies, and sharing it with everyone who will listen is exhausting. For now, I am surviving and so is our family. The events of today will pass as well, and we will be stronger for it. Until then, I am going to brainstorm, read and learn more about how to deal with it.
Thanks for listening.
Views: 6
Comment
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Comment by Catherine S. on December 31, 2009 at 3:27am -
Hi,
I feel your pain. We're (my 5 year old son and I) just beginning the long, slow process of diagnosis, paper trail and daily support that will allow my son to receive the DAILY support he needs to function effectively in school. I am a teacher myself and I know how unprepared educators are to implement special programs. Not necessarily unwilling but unprepared professionally. I walk the line every time we have a meeting with my son's school "team". Some members are on board and some just say they are. I am hoping for the best but I am constantly discouraged by the daily negative feedback I get from school regarding my son's behaviour. I know what is said in the staffroom by some other teachers who are quick to judge the parents and to label the children and provide their own armchair diagnoses. When children don't fit the mold, it is difficult to generate understanding in others unless the diagnosis is widely accepted. When a disorder looks like behaviour, it is a long, long road to make others understand that the cause can be treated, not just the behaviour. OT begins soon and I am taking him to a private psychologist to try behaviour therapy also. I am grateful that I stumbled onto this site because I have felt so alone and so desperate at times. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack and sometimes difficult to stay focused on the diagnosis and implement treatment when so few people understand and/or accept that it is a real diagnosis and not, as some health professionals and educators have told me, a diagnosis given when they don't know what else to call it. It is extremely consuming and tiring advocating for your child but we have to keep doing it because we're all they've got. Does anyone have any information about adults with SPD who have made it through the system and what are they doing now? What is their quality of life? Can they advocate for themselves? Do they blend in with the rest of society and have good jobs and families? I just want to know that my son won't have to always struggle. Thanks for listening - it means a lot when you've been alone with this for so long.
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Comment by Charlene Erale on October 3, 2009 at 1:32pm -
I hear your frustrations as both a parent and an educator. Many days I sit in my classroom realizing the needs of my students are impossible for me to accomodate. This is no choice of my own, but the way the educational system is set up! I have 30 kids in a classroom with 15 ESE students. I understand and want to help, but the difficulty lies within the amount of students they cram into a classroom!! The system is funding driven and NOT child centered!! I teach in a publci school and I'm terrified to send my 4 yr old to one next year! I know schools that don't hire OT's, PT's and speech paths to save money. They rather take the fine then hire and pay for a salary! It's absolutely a crime!!!! Anyone out there want to open a school for our kids?! I will send my little guy and work there!!!!!
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Comment by Mary Gardner on June 21, 2009 at 8:49pm -
Hi Nicole!
Thanks for sharing. Your story is so familiar. So many teachers have never heard about SPD... and sadly, many doctors. It's not an official "diagnosis" as you may or may not know. It's part of every child on the autism spectrum but on it's own.. it's still not recognized as a separate disorder.
We have had excellent results on blue green algae from Kalamath Falls Oregon - a superfood called Brain On... by E3Live ... www.e3live.com Some people have done B 12 shots.. and most people up the Omegas (vitamins) Be sure to check if there are any auditory processing problems as well.. b/c that or diet can also cause the defiance.. we've dealt a LOT with that. It's SO frustrating. Changing the diet has helped us a TON - No sugar, high fructose corn syrup, taking out glutten - (wheat)... and adding vitamins. We did allergy testing too.. and everything helps a bit!
Thanks for sharing.. keep in touch! Mary
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Comment by Craig Walker on May 15, 2009 at 12:07am -
Hi Nicole,
Boy, can I relate. It can be very difficult to get people who aren't experiencing what we go through every day to understand. That's what makes your son's latest teacher so very special. And, I have been so fortunate in having teachers who are willing to go the extra mile for my daughter -- even when some of them really don't understand SPD.
Hang in there Nicole and continue to develop a positive relationship with your child's teacher. I imagine that she will be a strong ally for you as your son moves forward in school.
Many Blessings,
Craig
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